Responsibility... the ability to respond?

It has been made obvious through recent circumstances that I am actually more irresponsible than I gave my self credit for.. no one has actually said it of course, but I've become that person with the stories that have no logical explanation as to how I survived or why I can laugh about them now... technically I have no real qualm with this because I accept the fact that I've been lucky with the not dying thing.
No, my concerns lay more in the welcoming arms of paranoia, where through the powers of imagination I am able to say with conviction that if I knew me I would not believe me and therefore dislike me... or I would just not want to go near that chick called virna because drinking with her may result in waking up in a gutter somewhere... its funny though because this irresponsibility has contrastingly at times projected me to a godlike height within the scope of people my age and under, God of the idiots what a refreshing thought...